A gentle reader has pointed out a serious omission in our recent story, “Colloquium Defines What Is Human.” Given that it is now established that humans are distinguished within the animal kingdom by adept use of acronyms and initialisms, we have failed to fully exercise our humanity by not applying this distinctively human mode of thought to the naming of our own species. This reader, further, provided the means to right this historic wrong, right here on The Stoneslide Corrective. Henceforth, humanity shall be referred to as ACES (acronym creating and employing species).

Thank you to our astute reader.

We hope that all readers will benefit from this important step for ACES. We believe that the more we use this elevated function, the further we ascend away from all that is coarse and brutish, as if walking up into the sky on a staircase of light and cloud—each step a clever, compact combination of letters. If you join us, you may feel that your mind’s rational functions move more freely, lubricated by the slick efficiency of acronym use. The animal passions, the gross craving for food, sensation, procreation, will subside.  In other words, we are exercising the better angels of our natures.

Perhaps this is evidence that government offices—with their density of acronyms and initialisms, almost crowding out organic language—are the places on earth closest to Heaven.

Again, we thank our reader for pointing us in this direction. We now look forward to our next visit to the DMV.

Please contact us with any further developments of this theme at editors [SMA (symbol meaning at)] stoneslidecorrective [DOT (dot of type)] com.