Summer: The season when everything smells like piss.

Fall: People talk about how beautiful fall is, mostly because they can breathe deeply for the first time in months.

Winter: Outside, things don’t smell so bad because the piss freezes. Tourists slip on the ice and obstruct the sidewalks, though.

Spring: Somewhere in the country, baby animals are born and begin pissing. This piss starts leaching its way toward New York.