The Problem: Politics is ugly. It is ugly in spirit and in tone. The endless lying and grasping self-interest is ugly. But it is also, far too often, just plain ugly ugly. Think of those flyers stuck into your doorjamb each evening, like a calling card from the ugly fairy. This ugliness turns people off and breeds cynicism.

The Proposal: We mandate that all campaign spending on print, broadcast, and online media be handled by a network of pre-approved artists. This league of artists will be made up of stay-at-home mothers who have completed at least one oil painting based on the Bob Ross television show, enthusiastic florists, knitters with a passion for bright colors and inspirational sayings, and any elementary school art teacher whose spirit remains unbroken. Anyone who knows the definition of the word “hermeneutics” will be excluded from participation. These artists will have the sole mission of making everything they produce beautiful. They will not be influenced by the campaigns’ messages, objectives, tactics, or other sordid considerations that so often, perhaps inevitably, lead to degraded art. They will transform dull statements, like “Dan Gilmour for State Senate,” into multihued cascades of rainbows, flowers, and kittens. This proposal will also produce a substantial economic benefit for communities, as billions of dollars is redirected to individuals and small enterprises rather than large ad firms and media buyers.

FICTION WRITERS FOR BETTER MISINFORMATION SEEKS TO USE MISINFORMATION TO GET VOTERS MORE ENGAGED IN THE ELECTORAL PROCESS. WE WELCOME PROPOSALS FOR BOOKS, MOVIES, PROPAGANDA CAMPAIGNS, REALITY TV SHOWS.