Imagine a long line of traffic waiting for a light to turn green. You are driving a Ford Fiesta twelve cars back. Now, when the light turns, if every driver is watching and starts accelerating at a reasonable rate, everyone in the line can start moving at the same instant. You advance immediately. That way a maximum number of cars make it through the light, and you are easily progressing toward your destination.

Now, think about what really happens. The light changes. One car lumbers forward. The next driver waits to see that the first is really moving before lifting her foot off the brake. The line slowly unspools. Then one driver, too engrossed in his doughnut, fails to notice the open space in front of him, until someone behind becomes angry enough to honk. The result? When the light cycles back to red, you are still five cars from the front. You shift in your sticky seat and brush the crumbs of a chocolate chip muffin from the folds in your shirt and pants.

At least, you think, in this cracked world there are such consolations as chocolate chip muffins.