The Republic Can Be Saved with Two Additions to the Health Care Law: The Public Option and the Prayer Option
Again we are forced to watch a scene of needless stupidity and selfishness in Washington. We know that many of our fellow citizens feel like kids seeing their parents scream at each other—disillusioned, scared, and powerless.
But just because our representatives in Congress fail to see any solution outside the grasp of their reptilian instincts doesn’t mean we have to settle for that.
We at Fiction Writers for Better Misinformation once again can apply our imaginative faculties and solve this problem.
The point of contention is Obamacare, aka the Affordable Care Act. Republicans want to repeal or otherwise hinder the rollout of the law before allowing the government to reopen. Democrats want to preserve what they see as their most significant achievement in years.
Why is there no way for the two sides to find common ground? It’s simple. Right now they are both terrified of having something they care about taken away from them. Everything they do comes out of that deep, instinctual fight against losing something.
Our solution, on the other hand, will be pure achievement, pure cake and icing—both sides get something and neither gives up anything.
What is it that Republicans, particularly Tea Partiers, feel they will lose if Obamacare goes into full effect? The opponents of the law perceive it as a government takeover of a sphere of intimate decision making and personal control. They perceive this as part of a broader assault on their traditional lifestyle.
On the other hand, liberal Democrats feel they have already compromised away much that they once wished for, and have been forced to rely on private markets and profit-oriented companies to make any improvement, when a sweeping government takeover would actually be more effective.
So, here is how we in our generous heart create something for both sides: FBMisin Governing Proposal #4992
Along with a continuing resolution to fund the government and elimination of the debt ceiling, pass a bill enabling people to opt into two new programs under Obamacare—we’ll call them the Public Option and the Prayer Option.
Under the Public Option, people can buy into Medicare through the new health exchanges. The Federal Government will run the program, collect premiums, pay providers, make the rules, everything.
Under the Prayer Option, participants will receive vouchers that they can redeem at any church (or synagogue or mosque, of course; we’re not biased) for up to twelve hours a month of fervent prayer for their well being. Should people under this program become sick, they can receive up to an additional 40 hours per month of prayer, with no maximum lifetime prayout. Baptists will be allowed to pay a lower premium and receive a mere 30 hours per month of prayer when they’re sick because Jesus is not only their savior but also their bud.
Obviously, no Congressperson could vote against this program: no Democrat can be accused of being anti-government; no Republican can seem in any way anti-religion.
And the plan will raise great enthusiasm in the extreme wings of both parties. Liberals will change out of their Birkenstocks in order to run out and sign up for the Public Option and show how much they believe government can improve lives. Conservatives will leap at a chance to both keep Obamacare off their backs and to put their lives in the hands of God, Who really knows best in any situation.
An important feature of the plan will be that anyone who registers for either the Public Option or the Prayer Option must commit to stay in it for a period of at least ten years. This will allow time to assess which is more effective and make future modifications to health policy.
Will the libs be glad they gave up their decision-making power to panels of bureaucrats, who will end up mandating not just treatments and preventive care visits, but what foods people can and can’t eat? Will the Tea Partiers be grateful for the efficiency of the private market if God tells them He wants them to get a prescription for that case of pink eye?
Under this proposal, both sides can live with the consequences of their convictions.
Read just a few of the many proposals from our Fiction Writers for Better Misinformation program to end problems thwarting good governance:
