The Trans-Pacific Partnership, a trade deal involving the US, Japan, and 10 other countries around the Pacific Rim, was approved today. Or, rather, it was agreed on by a group of negotiators but still has to be approved by various legislatures, including the US Congress, all of whom hate the thing. The final terms were hammered out in late-night, secret negotiations. They were kept secret largely because everyone all over the world hates this deal. Well, honestly, a few people haven’t heard of it yet or mistook its initialism, TPP, for a new kind of party drug and therefore registered a mild sense of approval. President Obama remained mystified at the opposition to the deal: “This lowers tariffs on beef from 30% to 9%. How can people not see that this is the new world order and the great strategic accomplishment of my presidency?” The Islamic State (also called ISIS) protested TPP, saying that people hate the deal so much it is distracting them from hatred of ISIS. The brutal terrorist group threatened to negotiate a trade deal of its own if the world doesn’t turn its opprobrium back to ISIS.