The head of the National Rifle Association is advocating that prison inmates carry guns for personal protection. Wayne La Pierre said prisoners are subject to all manner of attack, and the only way to stop the assaults is to have inmates pack heat. “In our prisons, all we need are good inmates with guns, and safety will break out all over,” La Pierre said. “Prison rape? Done. Cafeteria shanking? Done.” La Pierre further said that prisons could cut labor costs because they would be able to lay off interior guards and only post guards—armed, of course—at gates, towers, and walls. Louisiana governor Bobby Jindal said he likes the savings that the proposal makes possible. “You know me,” Jindal said, “I love a reasonable idea.” La Pierre said that prison systems could save even more money by buying the guns in huge, tens-of-thousands-at-a time bulk orders. At a rally in Elderwine, Oklahoma, La Pierre shouted, “Make America safe again! Put guns in prison!” In other news, George W. Bush egged his father’s house in broad daylight.