Concerned about recent reports in the New York Times and Financial Times that portrayed life in its territory as bleak and oppressive, ISIS has hired a new creative director charged with spiffing up its reputation. Amin Hana, who previously worked for a large Saudi oil services firm, says his first move will be to change the ISIS flag from black to “dark, dark, dark grey. Black is too absolute. We want people to know that there’s room for all kinds of ideas here, as long as they comport with a reactionary interpretation of Islamic law.” He has also developed a new tagline for the Islamic State: “The good life starts here!” He says, “We can make big steps with brand consistency. Just imagine every beheading video, the executioner is wearing a new authorized t-shirt that’s just the right shade of dark, dark, dark grey (we’ve found a shade that hardly even shows blood stains) and has the tagline emblazoned on its chest. People will see there’s a lot to love about ISIS.”