There are likely to be many sad faces this Christmas morning, since a boat loaded with Donald J. Trump Plushy dolls has been delayed making it to a US port. The dolls, featuring realistic comb-overs and a huggable plush body, are the breakout hit of the holiday season. Not for children (thank goodness) but for anxious middle-aged Republican voters who can hold a Trump Plushy at night and squeeze it to hear reassuring messages like: “I’ll stop the Muslim killers.” “I won’t let an immigrant take your job. God knows, they would work harder, faster, and better than you, so I’ll build a wall to keep them out.” The initial shipment of this coveted doll was first delayed when a fire broke out in the Malaysian plant where they were being assembled–killing 17 child workers and shutting down the line for days. The cargo ship carrying the first 1 million completed dolls was then blown off course by an unexpected typhoon that some have attributed to the effects of global warming. The latest projections show the ship arriving December 26. An aftermarket doll assembler has offered December 24th delivery of 1 million replacements patched together from Meg Whitman’s face, Chris Christy’s body, and bleached swaths of Marco Rubio’s hair.