Republican lawmaker Fred Upton has put forward a bill in the US Congress that would ban mentions of celebrity deaths. Says Upton, “Life is short, art long, and copyright even longer. The sadness people feel at the death of a beloved musician makes them lose sight of the more important things: that person’s music still lives in the marketplace and continues to make money—usually for Sony or Bertelsmann. The word ‘death’ thus is inaccurate. It’s really a transfer in ownership of certain rights and/or intellectual property. Our media need to learn how to report accurately on these things.” In other news, descendants of Vlad the Impaler are suing ISIS for patent infringement.