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a bad habit for good readers

stoneslidecorrective.com

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MONDAY, FEBRUARY 1, 2016

House Republican Curt Clawson called the insect infestation threatening to topple California’s citrus industry “God’s wrath.” The representative from Florida’s 19th Congressional district said, “California has been sinning, and Christ has been watching. He doesn’t want to watch that, believe me, and now our righteous growers in Florida will reap Jesus’ bounty of goodwill and pulp–free concentrate.” California’s citrus harvest is under threat from a bacterium, carried by an otherwise harmless insect, that causes a malady called Huanglongbing, also known as HLB or citrus greening disease. “All the kowtowing California does to the homosexuals and the tax raisers has finally awoken God from his slumber. I am proud that my state’s Christian farmers will benefit from God’s sunshiny love. You just know there’s nothing the Lord loves more in the morning than a nice cold glass of Florida orange juice.” In other news, aides to Iowa governor Terry Branstad reported that the Republican completed this morning’s Daily Jumble in 2 hours and 15 minutes, a personal best.


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