A group of Republican establishment insiders is considering altering the party’s bylaws to create a position of “primaries judge.” According to one person with knowledge of the talks, the primaries judge will have the power to cite Republican presidential candidates for instances of dishonesty, vulgarity, or conservative heterodoxy and punish the offender by taking away delegates and giving them to Marco Rubio. Said the source, “Our purpose is to ensure a fair and reasonable process.” In other news, Donald Trump purchased the American Kennel Club and banned the chihuahua from dog show competition.