Both Republicans and student activists are cheering a proposal at the University of California to ban all discussion of the weather unless the discussion is “positive in nature and execution.” For instance, it would be illegal on any Cal campus to say, “There’s a storm coming.” “Storm” connotes danger, darkness, injury, and property damage, among other things, “And those simply aren’t things we want to encourage,” said Cal president Janet Napolitano. The proposal has many detractors. Deke Wilkins, a student at Cal State Fullerton, said, “This is a university. We need the free exchange of ideas, and that might include whether it’s going to rain next week.” However, the proposal has strong support, too. Congressman Ed Royce, a Republican and member of the Tea Party from Orange County, California, said the regulations are a great idea. “Our kids need to learn that nothing is ever free! This country needs a hell of a lot less free speech, and even free thinking.” Trace Levitt, a sixth-year student at Berkeley and spokesperson for the Social Justice Warriors of California, said, “Language about the weather is inherently racist and gendered. Think about how the phrase ‘beautiful day’ conjures a permissive femininity and perpetuates male dominance. I’d prefer to see weather talk outlawed completely, but this is a good start.” In other news, first-ballot MLB Hall of Fame shortstop Robin Yount “accidentally” shot former Brewers owner and baseball commissioner Bud Selig in the buttocks while out turkey hunting.