Donald Trump announced that if elected one of his first acts will be to urge Congress to appropriate $10.5 billion so engineers and scientists can build the world’s first shoulder-mounted MRI machine. Trump said he needs to prove to doubters that he has “the best brain.” The device, which Trump said will look nothing like a tinfoil hat, will be “another step toward making America great again. When I’m negotiating with other countries, their leaders will be scared you-know-whatless of my brain, the awesomest brain in the world. No one’s brain is awesomer than mine, not even that cripple Steven Hawking!” Trump said. MRI machines generally weigh around 11 tons. Cutting the weight so the device can rest comfortably on his shoulders is part of what will drive the cost so high, Trump said. Trump supporter Jimmy Tom Denaven of Thousandsticks, Kentucky, said it’s a great idea. “You’re a idiot if you don’t think Donald Trump has the best brain.” Denaven, a former sheet metal worker disabled since an outboard motor propeller accident while taking a dare from his friends, also said, “The government should stop spending money on stupid shit and spend it on stuff like this that makes us great again.” In other news, Iowa Republican Joni Ernst said her staff conducted a study that showed science education “rots children’s minds.”