Researchers and scientists at Harvard, Dartmouth, and the University of Iowa have joined forces to develop The Rip Van Trumple Project. Psychologists, social scientists, and economists created an interactive computer program whereby users can place themselves in multiple Americas 20 years after the end of a Trump presidency. According to the Project, in one scenario Wisconsin will have no income tax, no state universities, and will not be, legally or politically, a part of the US, but will instead be a protectorate of Ivory Coast. Scott Walker, who by then will be either 75 or 79 years old depending on whether Trump’s presidency will have lasted one or two terms, will be Supreme Governor. Walker will preside over Wisconsin from the sky, in one of 7 Gulfstream jets he owns, and whose depreciation he writes off of his sales tax liabilities but whose upkeep is paid for by the people of the Protectorate. The Kansas legislature will conduct all business in secret. Texas, Louisiana, Arkansas, and Oklahoma will merge, and will make impoverishment punishable by sterilization. In all 50 states, secular charities will be outlawed, and only those with affiliations to Christian religions will be allowed. People who have lived below the poverty line for four consecutive years will be executed each year on the 4th of July. All immigrants will be housed in California, Oregon, or Pennsylvania. All non-school libraries will be private. In a different Rip Van Trumple scenario, 20 years after a Trump presidency the entire US will be ruled jointly by China and Russia, and men who don’t wear toupées will be required to gain weight until they’re morbidly obese. In other news, it’s been reported that multi-billionaire David Koch did not pull the wings off a fly yesterday.