Archeologists working in Egypt have discovered a long-buried papyrus scroll with an alternate version of the Gospel of John, one that also includes the Christian god Christ’s telling of a Creation story, and that some observers believe may refer to Donald Trump. Scholars say the alternate gospel was written down by a gnostic Christian sect around the year 120 CE and reflects an oral tradition going back to the time of Christ. The first translated lines read as follows:

In the beginning was the Joke, and the Joke was with God, and the Joke made God chuckle.

From the beginning God mulled the Joke and thought it was good.

The Joke was as a fart in the void.

Whosoever should comprehend the Joke will be saved and join God in laughter.

But the Joke shines in the darkness and the lost think it to be light.

The lost cry, lo, the Joke is serious and a great leader.

The Joke came into the world, born of woman. The Joke raised towers and brands of chicanery.

The Joke was named with a word, and that name, which was a word, gleamed like gold or brass.

The Joke was made flesh and the people voted for him.

God wondered if the Joke had been such a good idea.