The Republican National Committee today announced that it thought it was nominating Donald J. Trump to be president of the GOP’s new Canine Appreciation Club, not president of the United States of America. RNC head Reince Priebus told reporters, “You heard right at our convention. We all think Donald Trump has the skills, character, and vision to be a very effective president–president of the new branch we’re starting to encourage dog stewardship. That’s what we meant.” Priebus said that a survey of Republican delegates found that 98% thought they were nominating Trump for the chief dog advocate post; the other two percent were distracted by bright lights in the convention hall. “I was surprised by the law and order theme of Trump’s acceptance speech since most people use the word ‘discipline’ with dogs. Now it kind of makes sense, though,” said Priebus.