The election of Donald J. Trump has led to a sharp drop in complaints by liberals about all other subjects. According to media monitoring firm Panops, mentions of traffic, smelly Uber drivers, watery lattes, and gout have all declined by 95% percent since Tuesday night. Panops CEO Justin Spry explained that his firm monitors all the major social networking channels to provide real-time mood information to brands and marketers. “Just looking at the data I have,” said Spry, “you’d think we’ve entered a new golden age for liberals. It’s like all their problems disappeared. For instance, we used to see an average of 1.26 complaints about lines at Whole Foods, per liberal, per day. That’s now at less than 0.0005.”