Volunteerism:

the easiest solution to any social problem.

The Cynic's Notebook

Volunteerism:

a reason for the existence of the needy.

The Cynic's Notebook

He who laughs last

is slow on the uptake.

The Cynic's Notebook

Fermentation occurs in nature?

I thought it was developed by marriage counselors.

The Cynic's Notebook

Manichaeism is alive and well in the world today.

When you hit a red light, you believe in the malevolent will behind creation. When a light turns green, as if just for you, then you believe in the good god. Our altars are those obelisk-shaped traffic signals.

The Cynic's Notebook

No time is more filled with hope

than the beginning of a new year. Hope being, of course, an illusion.

The Cynic's Notebook

I love a new year.

It’s a chance to witness more ruin.

The Cynic's Notebook

The canvas of a new year is beautiful,

just before it’s painted with blood and bile.

The Cynic's Notebook

People’s excitement for the new year

directly correlates with the quality of the discounts offered by their favorite retailers.

The Cynic's Notebook

Now is the time you can refashion your life

to be more like your dreams. Keep telling yourself that. For instance, while you’re driving your tin bucket of a car with the rusted out spot under the passenger’s seat that lets the cold air in, because you have to get to the store by 6:00 a.m. to open and then work until dark just […]

The Cynic's Notebook