Don’t think for yourself. Don’t hold yourself to standards. That’s the message Dale Prentiss says his college is sending after he had a disagreement with the parents of one of his pupils.
Read More...Researchers Find People Look Thinner When Their Dogs Are Obese
People who were described as obese or overweight when alone or next to a fit dog were described as fit or slightly overweight when beside an overweight dog. Also, the greater the dog’s weight relative to its frame, the thinner the person appeared to be. Morbidly obese dogs had the most powerful slimming effect.
Read More...Fast Food Trade Group Wins Over American Taxpayers
“Complainers have pointed out that some of our full-time employees still qualify for Food Stamps and Medicaid,” says Clarence Duckmueller, the president of BA. “We recognize the burden that this places on federal, state, and local government budgets. Since taxpayers are ultimately the ones who bear this burden, we decided to directly compensate them.”
Read More...Science Points Way to Improved Cell Phone Accessories
Researchers have long known that naked mole rats don’t get cancer or tumors. The ugly little rodents can live to over 30 years of age and yet no naked mole rat has ever been seen to develop a tumor. Recent investigations have uncovered the fact that they produce an oversized form of a substance called […]
Read More...Sociologist Finds Absurdity Has Critical Role in Human Power Dynamics
A sociologist at Gulf Isthmus University has used a study of workplace kitchenettes to fundamentally upend the theory of authority. The study by Fiona Hayes-Verhorsihs has been hailed as bringing “illumination” to how power is exerted in organizations and why people obey those they perceive to have authority. Over six years, Hayes-Verhorsihs placed signs in […]
Read More...New Business Helps Wealthy Hold Onto Self-Importance in Modern World
We recently got a special tour of a new venture on Madison Avenue that has been causing quite a stir. The business is called Mammonary Springs Wellness Center. Because Mammonary Springs is secretive to the extreme, a number of far-fetched rumors have bloomed—ranging from the suggestion that it provides a fountain of youth-like treatment to the insinuation that it is simply a high-end brothel.
Read More...Researchers Use Deep Human Emotion to Enhance Identity Security Online
The fulcrum for the new method is shame. Explains co-developer and psychology professor Anna Chull, it’s in the nature of shame to be almost ineradicable from our memory and yet completely private. “Say you once rubbed a dog’s penis to see if it would get erect,” says Chull. “And say you kind of liked it. You’re not going to tweet about that. No. But you won’t forget it. It’s a perfect, entirely personalized security key.”
Read More...Organizers Hope Take Your Lazy-Ass Son to Work Day Sees More Participation
Fifteen-year-old Ely Dahlrang of Cunway, Oregon, says he was transformed by seeing his dad at work in 2012. “I always thought my dad hated my brothers and me, and all of that work stuff was just noise. But no, he really, really hates his job. I’m pretty sure that actually he probably doesn’t even hate us, it’s just that his life blows. So last fall when he asked me to rake leaves I didn’t ignore him or tell him to hire somebody.”
Read More...New Paper Quantifies Value of Romance
A research team from Priapanal Wealth Management and Upland Downs University has created a financial model that predicts the ideal time for a wealthy older male to discard his initial wife and remarry with a younger female. “This is a complex theoretical question,” said Professor Henry Gausee. “Not only do you have questions of financial […]
Read More...Medical Doctor Develops Surgery to Create the Perfect Checkout Cashier
We’ve all had the experience. You’re standing in line to check out at a store. You have a box of pasta, say, in your hand. You’re late to pick up the kids, but you need the pasta for dinner, so you can’t bail. Your frustration mounts. You feel helpless. “Being in a line like that […]
Read More...Research Brief: Terrorist Acts Create Safety
A sociology professor at Upland Downs University has published a working paper arguing that terrorism saves lives. Gerald Singhe, the researcher in question, compared cities that experienced a significant terror attack with demographically similar municipalities that didn’t. He found lower murder rates, traffic deaths, and suicides in the cities that experienced terror in the year following an attack.
Read More...PART THREE: Ex-Professor Exploits Big Data to Turn Crime into Profit Center
My own wanting had become less pure, less disinterested. Here was this woman who now glowed in my heart, like a smooth icon painted on old cracked boards. Was it leading me astray? I don’t know. This wanting could feel so promising—almost like a transcendence of my grubby life—take for example this car, with stains on the dash and the seats and the ages-old litter on the floor and the whine when I turn right that I’ll have to have checked someday. Why not seek something better? I was driving now. Toward 14 Amber Point.
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