If it isn’t Italian or German, is it really a car?

If his daughter were attractive she’d probably be a slut.

His daughter gets so angry when I tell her she looks good for her age.

I have one dream above all others, one vision that makes my heart sing: my name on the deeds.

My standards are in transition.

It’s amazing that in an age when we do so much banking online and we pay for things with credit cards and we hardly touch cash at all that money is still the most powerful aphrodisiac.

It’s not his age, it’s the ear hair.

Telecommuting and video conferences are amazing technologies, for sure, but I say there’s no substitute for being in a room with people so you can smell who’s nervous.

You’ve seen how, right before a staff meeting, everyone runs to the bathroom, right? It makes sense. Those things can go on forever and the only thing worse than an hour and a half of sheer tedium is an hour and a half of sheer tedium when your bladder feels like it’s going rupture. Well, […]

Do you know that feeling when your boss reams you out? Like everything is just flushing out of your bowels and you are total scum? Some people call it humiliation or embarrassment. I call it the feeling of rightness. It’s your body telling you you’ve found your place—you shouldn’t aspire to anything higher. That’s survival […]

Dear employees, You may have noticed that our work performance review process is incredibly confusing and complex with no discernible connection to either your past performance or your advancement and place within the company. This despite our repeated assurances that our driving goal is to improve employee performance and give you the tools you need […]