WIFE: Will you ever leave me? ME: Never! I mean, not unless I get one of those brain tumors that makes you do crazy stuff. Like the guy who became an arsonist. More from A Life Examined: Advice to Expectant Mothers Advice to Expectant Fathers While Waiting to Check Out
Read More...True Things I Shouldn’t Have Said Anyway
WIFE: It’s so exciting that in just a month you’ll be married. FEMALE FRIEND: I know! MALE FRIEND: Any advice for us? What’s the key to a happy marriage? ME: Always delete your internet history. I’m serious. Every single time. More from A Life Examined: How many times have I done the right thing Special […]
Read More...Due to Misunderstanding, Discussion of Housepainting Becomes Most Crowded Event at AWP
More than 3,000 writers showed up to hear a talk given by a professional housepainter and self-published author about how his two worlds overlap. The attendance was greater than that at any other talk at the annual conference of the Association of Writers & Writing Programs, which is being held in Seattle this year. AWP […]
Read More...The Numbers
Once again, the numbers came in one unit above despair. So we started again.
Read More...I hate moderation,
somewhat.
Read More...Two California Counties Prepare to Designate “Job Creator Lanes” on Highways
Being wealthy can be difficult. Perhaps no one knows that more than job creators, the men and women who supervise people who supervise other people who run companies. Their morning and evening commutes can be brutal. Even with a driver, phone, beverage, and suite of printed and electronic reading material, sitting in traffic has to […]
Read More...Utility Company Outsources Safety Inspections
Tohd responded to criticism that this latest cut could lead to lowered safety standards and increased risk for people who live near power plants and major gas lines. Most such facilities are strategically located in working class communities, Tohd explained, so the danger is well contained.
Read More...The Saddest Reddit AMA Ever
I’m an entrepreneur and an expert in consumer brands. AMA
Read More...New Breast-Feeding Law Decried as “Nanny Statism”
A new law requiring breast-feeding in certain situations is being praised by advocates for maternal and infant health, but it also has its critics among libertarians and others. The law, passed by the Paterboro Town Council last July, recognizes in its preamble the scientific studies of the last few decades that have found that breast-feeding […]
Read More...True Things I Shouldn’t Have Said Anyway
KID: Butt cake, butt cake, Gramma made a butt cake! WIFE: Sweetie. You know it’s called a bundt cake. ME: Her nomenclature’s more accurate. More True Things I Shouldn’t Have Said Anyway: True Things: “it smells” True Things: monsters True Things: dusty
Read More...True Things I Shouldn’t Have Said Anyway
KID: What’s a super colliding super commuter? WIFE: Sweetie, I think you mean the Super Colliding Super Conductor. It’s what scientists use to learn how the world works. ME: What it really shows is that the universe will keep expanding until every living thing dies. More True Things I Shouldn’t Have Said Anyway: True Things: […]
Read More...Seattle Seahawks Fan Sues Team over Hearing Loss
The Seahawks dispute the suit’s claims, and have launched a countersuit. A representative for the team did not hold back when criticizing Reddy’s action. “This joker messed with the wrong sports organization,” says Deputy Assistant Vice Director of Community Communications Byron Kerdul. “What does he think we are, a baseball team? We’re football. Football kicks ass and football takes names. This allegedly deafened pudwhacker is going down.”
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