-Good god, they walk their own dog. -Good god, they do their own yard work. -Good god, they installed a TV themselves. -Good god, they cleaned their own gutters. -Good god, they pruned that tree themselves. -Good god, he changes the oil in their cars himself. -Good god, they clean house themselves.
Read More...More Sayings of Joanna M., a Kept Woman
-I think he continues to take delivery of a physical newspaper only so he doesn’t have to talk to me during meals. -If it doesn’t have a helipad, is it really a yacht? -If the pebbles up the drive aren’t rounded river rock, is it really someplace you’d want to party? -If you have to […]
Read More...Most Read Stories of 2014—Fiction
We’re deeply proud of every work we published in the last year. Here are ten that proved popular in the last year.
Read More...Stoneslide Gift Assist: Little Elf Utility Blade
The Little Elf Utility Blade includes everything you need to open modern toy packaging in a snap, such as a butane blow torch, a 400 watt CO2 laser, and cemented carbide cutting edges, as well as reserves of hydrochloric acid and TNT explosive.
Read More...Most Read Stories of 2014—Humor
A look back at the ten most-read humor pieces in The Stoneslide Corrective, 2014.
Read More...Stoneslide Gift Assists: A Present for the Parents of Young Children
Clouton, Inc., today releases the Care Pillar, a fully functional hygiene procedure enabler that makes brushing teeth, washing face, clipping fingernails, and other basic activities a snap.
Read More...Advantages Poets Have over Football Players
•Poets are not often asked to debase themselves by endorsing products or businesses in exchange for lucrative reimbursement.
•Although experts and failures alike will criticize poets’ work, it won’t be criticized by morons whose only qualification is that they can sit and hold onto a beer at the same time.
•Poets are not usually pursued romantically solely because of their incomes.
Climate Scientists Deny that Climate Change Denial Actually Exists
This essay originally appeared in the Duncastle Eagle, November 13, 2014: President Obama has just concluded negotiations with Chinese President Xi over an agreement between the world’s two largest economic powers (and largest polluters) to limit greenhouse gas emissions. But now he faces the real challenge: persuading members of the opposing party in Congress. The […]
Read More...Look on My Works and Wonder
Ozeem, the sub-deputy governor of the province, had the patience of a bureaucrat who has learned that nothing good arrives in time for you to appreciate it and an imp’s glee in practical jokes. When an order came down to ensure that all Grade 2 and higher roadways had accurate and durable mile markers, Ozeem […]
Read More...Unbeknownst to Jim, the literary style known as epistolary expressionist reductionism
reached its ultimate expression in a text message sent by Jim on July 8, 2014, at 4:32 pm, to his friend Guy, which read in its entirety: Yo!
Read More...That little rich sh*t’s motto seems to be measure once,
and Mommy and Daddy will buy more lumber.
Read More...Movement for Money Rights May Reshape Elections
Danvorious Tohd hopes this election will be the last one that’s corrupt. As he sees it, politics is currently defiled by unjustified restrictions on individual and corporate spending—what he calls “handcuffs made from regulations and rules.” Tohd is an outspoken proponent for a California ballot measure known as Prop 88, which he believes would fix […]
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