The Stoneslide Corrective saw a bumper sticker the other day that read, “Kids who hunt, fish, and trap don’t mug little old ladies.” We wondered briefly if this claim was true. But the research to prove or disprove the claim exceeded our attention span, and we accepted the generalization in the way we accept so many generalizations each day to keep from overloading our brains with rowdy thoughts. Since we saw this sticker on a car parked on a busy street in a densely urban area, clearly the intent here was to warn passersby to be on their guard against kids who don’t hunt, fish, and trap, since those are the likely muggers. So, when you’re walking through the city streets, seek children carrying rifles, fishing rods, and steel-toothed spring-loaded traps, and stay close to those children. Then we started wondering if there might be a better bumper sticker—one with even broader usefulness. What other warnings drawn from generalizations might prove helpful? We came up with, “Kids who mug little old ladies don’t grow up to crash the world financial system.” We’ll have to get that printed, stat.
The Kids Are to Blame
stonesl
