ME: For my birthday this year, will you laugh at one of my jokes?
WIFE: [Laughing.] Does that count?
Special Occasions
stonesl1
- « Previous Page
- 1
- …
- 4
- 5
- 6
- 7
- Next Page »
Ennobling Acronyms
stonesl1
A gentle reader has pointed out a serious omission in our recent story, “Colloquium Defines What Is Human.” Given that it is now established that humans are distinguished within the animal kingdom by adept use of acronyms and initialisms, we have failed to fully exercise our humanity by not applying this distinctively human mode of thought to the naming of our own species. This reader, further, provided the means to right this historic wrong, right here on The Stoneslide Corrective. Henceforth, humanity shall be referred to as ACES (acronym creating and employing species).
Thank you to our astute reader.
We hope that all readers will benefit from this important step for ACES. We believe that the more we use this elevated function, the further we ascend away from all that is coarse and brutish, as if walking up into the sky on a staircase of light and cloud—each step a clever, compact combination of letters. If you join us, you may feel that your mind’s rational functions move more freely, lubricated by the slick efficiency of acronym use. The animal passions, the gross craving for food, sensation, procreation, will subside. In other words, we are exercising the better angels of our natures. [Read more…]
Writers at Work: Dickens
stonesl1
Everyone knows that Dickens wrote fast—he was famously paid by the word. He produced stacks of copy, but he also generated prose of such brilliance that people know the lines by heart more than a century later. We at The Stoneslide Corrective investigated his process of composition in order to understand how it was possible for him to achieve both such quantity and such quality.
The Stoneslide Corrective occasionally studies early drafts of writings, in order to learn, to instruct, to grow, and sometimes in order to explore for the sheer enjoyment of compositional exploration. Consulting the work of scholars, archivists, biographers, librarians, private foundations and repositories, and, when appropriate, consulting the writers themselves, we re-create the process through which a work was brought into being, often including the many drafts writers go through.
Note: All historical work is verified by HistoriRight, Inc.
Unless you’re at church, temple, mosque, or a court proceeding, do feel free to turn up the volume of the device you’re using to read this (except your brain, of course; please don’t turn up that device’s volume).
If I read all the agreements I signed,
stonesl1
I wouldn’t have time to violate them.
Writers at Work: Bono
stonesl1
The rock singer Bono is a lyricist of great and deserved renown. The heart of his success is his artistic expression, and that wasn’t formed in the public sphere of cocktail parties, expert panels, or focus groups. It was forged in solitary labors, where the soul pounds against the hard truths of nature and the limits of language.
The Stoneslide Corrective occasionally studies early drafts of writings, in order to learn, to instruct, to grow, and sometimes in order to explore for the sheer enjoyment of compositional exploration. Consulting the work of scholars, archivists, biographers, librarians, private foundations and repositories, and, when appropriate, consulting the writers themselves, we re-create the process through which a work was brought into being, often including the many drafts writers go through.
Note: All historical work is verified by HistoriRight, Inc.
Unless you’re at church, temple, mosque, or a court proceeding, do feel free to turn up the volume of the device you’re using to read this (except your brain, of course; please don’t turn up that device’s volume).
What’s It Worth to Ya?
stonesl1
We propose a thought experiment. Close your eyes—well, read this first, then close them—and pretend you live in a mansion worth approximately $8,427,888. It’s a nice place. Your annual income is above $2,000,000, so don’t worry, you can handle the payments. Your feet, in silk slippers, are double cosseted by the Persian rug under your feet. It was woven in 1870 or so and set you back about $500k. But people always comment on it at your parties. As you like to do every day, you are taking a few moments to view your most prized painting. It’s a scene of cowboys set in the grandeur of snow-capped mountains, painted by a name anyone acquainted with art would know. When you first saw it, it stirred memories of your childhood trips to Sun Valley. So you bid on it, and kept bidding, even as the price moved above a million. Now it’s yours. It was worth it. Nothing you own feels so much like a treasure. Nonetheless, you have other things that are costly and that others covet. We’ll let you paint in the details of the cars in the garage, the speedboat rocking against the dock, the home entertainment system…
That was fun, wasn’t it?
Now, imagine that we are reforming government along the lines of zero-based budgeting. In other words, at the end of each year, all services and taxes are returned to zero. No income tax, no sales tax, no property tax. Unless we decide to require them this year. No trash collection, no highway maintenance, no record keeping. Unless we decide to pay for them this year. Nothing carries over. Past assumptions are dead.
Now, how much would you pay for police protection? [Read more…]
