A Life Examined

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Five Home Movies

1. April 2007

ME: Go ahead. Coo coo coo coo. [Lips making raspberry sound.]

WIFE: Everyone, she just smiled. I’m telling you, she smiled at her daddy. It was amazing. Maybe she’ll do it again.

ME: Coo cooo. Daddy makes a silly face. Silly faces. You like silly faces, don’t you?

BABY: Waaahhhh. [Whining.]

WIFE: She really just smiled. I’m telling you.

BABY: Waaahhhh! [Full, lung-emptying wail.]

ME: She must want something.

WIFE: I’m telling you, she smiled. She can smile.

[MOVIE ENDS]

 

2. August 2008

WIFE: What was that you said a second ago, honey?

TODDLER: I wan cracka.

WIFE: No, you told me a little story. Honey, what was your little story?

TODDLER: I wan cracka.

WIFE: It was so funny, sweetie. [Read more…]

How Life Turns Into Art

I’m standing at the sink, peering into the mirror as I draw the razor up my face, erasing a line of white shaving cream. My five-year-old daughter reaches around me to put her hand under the running faucet. She brings the handful of water up to the top of her head, then draws her hands out to the side, flattening the hair. She repeats this grooming gesture a few times.

“What are you up to?” I ask.

“I’m wetting my hair. That way it’s easier to wear.”

“Makes sense, I guess.” I go back to dumbly shaving.

“That’s a line, Daddy,” she says. “I’m wetting my hair/ So it’s easier to wear.”

“Okay.”

She skips out of the bathroom. “I’m wetting my hair/ So it’s easier to wear.”

She accelerates into an elliptical run. “Mommy! Mommy! Hear my line! I’m wetting my hair/ So it’s easier to wear!”

And there we have a complete example of how life becomes art. At the beginning is the mystery of inspiration. [Read more…]

A Middle Manager’s Advice to His Son

When you grow up and work in a busy office, as I do now, always be sure to use the bathroom early, when the cleaning crew has just been there. People do disgusting things during the day. When you see the blue fluid still in the bowl, you know you will be clean and pure. Remember this, my son.