Fiction Writers for Better Misinformation seeks to use misinformation to get voters more engaged in the electoral process. We welcome proposals for books, movies, propaganda campaigns, reality TV shows.
The Problem: Voters lose interest in policy speeches, debates, white papers, and other such “dry” materials before they fully understand what’s at stake in the election.
The Proposal: Increase voter attention and engagement by having beautiful naked people reenact stump speeches and debates. It’s obvious that this approach will initially get far more attention than men in stiff suits at a lectern. We’ll create a Naked C-SPAN to be sure the programming is available whenever anyone needs a little look-see. But that is only the beginning of this misinformation proposal. America can be united by the combination of nudity and an unlikely love story.
In our alternate, nude version of the election, Mitt Romney will be played by a widely admired and handsome actor (we can’t release names yet) and Barack Obama will be played by a famously seductive actress. Through their early stump speeches, it will become clear that these two competitors truly hate each other. Then comes the night of the first debate—the first time they see each other in the flesh, so to speak. They’re each immediately struck by Cupid’s arrow. They make it through the arguments and attacks but neither one sounds like they mean their mean-spirited one-liners. At several points, the two just gaze at each other and don’t say anything for minutes at a spell.
The second debate is filled with cute moments, as Barack and Mitt both blush and stammer. They several times ask the other candidate to go first or volunteer up their own time. When the moderator asks Mitt about his taxes, Barack says she doesn’t think that’s a fair question. Everyone who watches the candidates in the next few weeks can see that they don’t know what to do—should they pursue their political ambitions or follow their hearts?
In the candidates’ third and final encounter, with everything on the line, they end up talking about their lives growing up and their hopes and fears about becoming president, while a heart-warmed and relieved public watches. This debate will get record ratings. Everyone can see that these two love each other—and in that love is a hope for a new era of American comity. Instead of just shaking hands at the end of the debate, the two come out from behind their podiums to share a long embrace, which develops into kisses and caresses, until they stumble off stage in each others’ arms.
But then disaster strikes. Mitt is going through his stump speech, so lost in a revery about Barack’s lustrous eyes that he forgets to edit the prepared text and reads the line, “My opponent’s face is already being printed in the dictionary next to the word failure.” This gets repeated all over the world on news channels and the internet. Of course, Barack sees it, and she runs off crying to the bathroom. The nation fears that that is it, that the dream of bipartisan love is over. The two candidates go back to their standard speeches, but at night, alone, they cry themselves to sleep.
On the eve of Election Day, the two find themselves both cruising the swing state of Ohio. Their buses end up side by side going down Route 71 toward Columbus. Their eyes meet through the shaded windows. Barack looks away. But Mitt can’t stand it anymore. He pounds on the windows, until Barack looks up to see the raw passion on his face. They stop the buses and Mitt proposes on the side of the road. Instead of an engagement ring, he pledges all of his electoral votes. Barack accepts. The two promise to work together every day for the rest of their term—and the rest of their lives.
Through its use of well-tested tropes and stories, this fictional version of the election will distract between 22% and 78% of voter attention from the real contest. People will finally have a vision of how politics can be better, even if it’s only fiction for now.
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