You saw last week that we created a satirical logo for the entire U.S. presidential campaign. This week we bring you the opportunity to spread the word (“huh?” being the word) with branded merchandise.

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It’s rare that we are inspired by a political figure, but this last week it happened. It wasn’t a particular policy proposal that moved us. It wasn’t a passage of rhetoric–the use of language to persuade, exhort, and motivate–that caused the light to flick on within us and suddenly illuminate the landscape before our feet. It wasn’t even the careful theatrics of dress and semiotics of association that seem to occupy the lion’s share of effort in modern American presidential campaigns. What inspired us was a logo.

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We at Stoneslide have devised a program that can accommodate all Republican candidates—without causing widespread nausea among American voters—and is sure to help viewers quickly evaluate which of these men (and one woman!) is the truest Republican.

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  -over three-quarters fried egg -prepared horseradish -two-year-old cheddar cheese -salt and pepper -bread -grated top panel of Hewlett-Packard 200A Audio Oscillator, stolen from the Computer History Museum, 1401 N. Shoreline Blvd., Mountain View, California   -over three-quarters fried egg -Havarti cheese -salt and pepper -frozen butter, shaved -bread -shredded Bill of Rights, with 1st, […]

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The Rejection Generator is a labor of love for Sylvester Stonesman. He spends more time with the machinery than with his wife or his children or his aging parents. Because the Generator is in the basement of Stoneslide headquarters, those people often come here seeking him, but we don’t answer the door, and they go […]

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This brings the world’s millions of corporations squarely into my sphere of influence, and now I have to figure out what to do with them. Do you realize that there are more corporations today than there were souls on the planet a few centuries ago? Yes, I’ve grown my staff in the meantime, but I can’t tell you how much trouble this is going to cause.

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It has become clear to us that all successful people are completely insane. Some hide it better than others. But to our minds, whenever you look closely and long enough at someone who has attained a level of eminence, you’ll find there’s a sort of film between you and that person, because they have separated, […]

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We love to help our readers. If you occasionally have to write reports or summaries, if you like to be informative in your holiday letters, or if you just like to send emails that are cogent, we believe we have a great gift for you.

Having just the right term for something can reveal the inherent truth lying inside that something. We at Stoneslide have teamed up with downsized lexicographers from American Heritage Dictionary, Merriam-Webster, and the Oxford English Dictionary in order to find the deep truth within the following occupations and affiliations. We’ve created these helpful expressions for you.

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