Former Republican presidential candidate Jeb Bush was demoted yesterday at his new place of work, a Michaels crafts store in Sarasota, Florida, where he was hired in late February. Jeb had been working as an assistant in the knitting department, but according to his supervisor, Wanda Tenille, “He couldn’t keep the different yarns straight in his head. He was always mixing up the various needle styles, too.” Tenille said Jeb will now work as a bagger. In other news, yesterday Maine’s governor, Paul LePage, said something that wasn’t 100% asinine.