It’s said occasionally that in Vegas you can bet on anything. It might be true. A bookmaker in Las Vegas has released a money line on whether or not the mayor of Chicago, Rahm Emanuel, will declare martial law before the 2015 election.
Winkel’s Wagers, the sports book taking the bets, says the money line “has moved a great deal” since they released it three weeks ago. The line opened at plus 185. As of yesterday, however, the line was at minus 600. The greatest spike came in the last week, after The Stoneslide Corrective published speculation from an economist that the mayor’s rumored kleptomania was a preparation for seizure of extraordinary governing powers.
Clearly, bettors and bookies think Emanuel will declare martial law in The Hog Butcher of the World.
Dren Weber, general manager of Winkel’s, says the company’s algorithms and ground intelligence show Emanuel’s 
declaration of martial law to be “all but inevitable. Our people there in Chicago tell us he ‘wants to take the city down.’ We have to pay attention to things like that.”
One Chicagoan who drove 22 hours in order to place a bet at Winkel’s says he is simply waiting for Emanuel to make his move. “That fucker’s a sociopath, plain and simple,” says Henri Louis Dufalge Alain deCresque III. “I’d take that action at minus 1,500. It’s a sure thing.”
Not all bettors think Emanuel’s declaring martial law is a lock. Winkel’s line for bets that the mayor won’t make the declaration is plus 900. However, a handicapper at Toots’ Touts says, “That’s square money if I ever saw it.”
Delaney Vogelman, a consultant with CandidateCan Inc, says that in all his years of advising candidates and studying political races, he’s never seen wagering on a scenario such as this. “If a mayor’s governing tendencies are subject to a prop bet in Vegas, clearly his image, if not his work, is spiraling out of control. If I were Emanuel’s chief of staff, I’d have him kissing babies 24 hours a day until this goes away.”
Neither Emanuel nor anyone from his staff would comment on the wager.
The Stoneslide Corrective has also learned of an interesting financial derivative linking Emanuel’s likelihood of declaring martial law with New Jersey Governor Chris Christie’s penchant for obstructing interstate traffic. In recent weeks, traders on the Chicago Board of Trade have been buying up 2016 futures contracts on blueberries, asparagus, and bell peppers, essentially betting that Christie will shut down so many bridges and highways in retaliation for people saying things he doesn’t like that he will thereby cut the national supply of these crops, all major New Jersey exports. The theory behind this trading is that running for president will exacerbate the governor’s existing tendencies. The timing of the 2016 presidential election coincides with the harvest time for these products.
Seeing the potential for economic disaster if Christie ends up the Republican nominee for president in 2016 and Emanuel gets the nod for the Democrats, Swiftkin Lumierre Investment Bank has developed what they’re calling a “political risk swap.” Under this device, firms afraid of a Christie-Emanuel showdown pay $1 million every six months in exchange for a $20 million payout if both Christie and Emanuel are nominated by their respective parties. A source who’s seen the confidential investment presentation tells us, “They’re predicting O’Hare and Newark airports will be at a near standstill, as both men force travelers to watch campaign speeches before boarding. That’s just one example. It could get bad.”
More news about Rahm Emanuel:
Investigation Reveals Chicago Mayor May Be Kleptomaniac
More business and financial news:
Obscene Gesture Benefits Economy
Psychologist Identifies “Golden Hour” for Best Financial Performance
