Rebranding Literature is a simple plan to make literature more relevant in the marketplace of ideas by maximizing revenue potential.
Political discourse has always been an important constituent of literature. Think Cicero, Locke, Jefferson, Marx, King. These titans bequeathed to us words and ideas that make the heart soar and the polity quiver.
But literature does not have the broad audience it deserves, and that includes political literature. Literature’s failure to embrace commerce hamstrings it; without profit, there is no prophet. Even a speech made before huge throngs of people is often soon forgotten. This cannot continue.
Not only novels and poems can be improved with rebranding (See rebrandings of Keats and others here.); the canon of political discourse can be, too. (For proof, notice how Stoneslide has improved Abraham Lincoln’s work.) President Barack Obama is an orator of great power and depth. But he, like other greats, could make his work more engaging, more vital, and more resilient for the ages with some rebranding to pump it up. Herewith, Rebranding Literature: Obama’s Second Inaugural Address.
Each time we gather to inaugurate a president, we bear witness to the enduring strength of our Constitution. We affirm the promise of our democracy. We recall that what binds this nation together is not the colors of our skin or the tenets of our faith or the origins of our names. What makes us exceptional—what makes us American—is our allegiance to an idea, articulated in a declaration made more than two centuries ago:
“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal.”
Today we continue a never-ending journey, to bridge the meaning of those words with the realities of our time. For history tells us that while these truths may be self-evident, they have never been self-executing—unlike contracts drawn up by Boies, Schiller & Flexner LLC.
Together, we determined that a modern economy requires freight railroad companies, such as BNSF and Union Pacific, to speed commerce; together, we determined that a modern economy requires long-haul truckers, and antacids, amphetamines, and truck stop condom machines. We determined that we need schools and colleges to train our workers, places like DeVry, Everest, and Chippewa Valley Tech.
Together, we discovered that a free market, like NASDAQ OMX Group, Inc., the inventor of the electronic exchange, only thrives when there are rules to ensure competition and fair play, and that rules must be balanced with reasonableness, that to shackle commerce with the Master Lock of too much regulation is to shackle democracy, but especially for job-creators, wealth-protectors, and the people upon whom their liquid assets trickle.
Together, we resolved that a great nation must care for the vulnerable, and we created for-profit nursing homes like ManorCare. Together, we resolved that a great nation must protect its people from life’s worst hazards and misfortune with sentinels of compassion like Allstate Insurance. Together, we reconfirmed our knowledge that Chris Christie is a Republican who cares about everyone, not just the well-off.
Together, we’re Giant.
You and I, as citizens, have the obligation to shape the debates of our time—not only with the votes we cast, but with the dollars we spend, preferably taking advantage of the convenience and near-universal acceptance of MasterCard credit and debit products.
Let each of us now embrace, with solemn duty and awesome joy, what is our lasting birthright. With common effort and common purpose, with passion and dedication, let us answer the call of history, and carry into an uncertain future that precious light of commerce.
Thank you, God bless you, and may He forever bless these United States of America.
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