How America’s Heroic Celebrities Can End Inequality

President Obama has been hopping up and down at his bully pulpit decrying the growing levels of inequality in our country. He says he wants to fix this cancer eating at the core of our society with a few tax incentives or some such over-the-counter-strength remedy. And even that has no chance of getting through […]

Correctives

Stoneslide Media releases new ad to air during Super Bowl

The Stoneslide Corrective has purchased a spot during America’s most beloved television broadcast. Stoneslide’s Sylvester Stonesman says, “We believe we’re the first literary publication to advertise during this orgy of consumerist hedonism. Don’t get me wrong, we like orgies. And hedonism. But our point is that there’s more to life… Anyway, we’re proud to bring […]

Correctives

University of California’s Academic Standards for Student Athletes Ridiculed in Rival School’s New Recruiting Materials

Do you want to be a used car salesman? Do you want to work the overnight shift for a janitorial service? Those are just a couple questions one college’s athletics coaches will soon be asking prospective recruits. In a new recruiting program seen as a swipe at the University of California and its worst-in-the nation […]

Correctives

How Can Congress Top This?

Over the last two weeks, the US Congress has destroyed $24 billion in economic value, degraded the country’s reputation around the world, and put a major damper over millions of lives for no discernible reason. They’ve set a very high bar for themselves. Can an institution apparently devoted to meaningless waste and destruction ever do better than this recent shutdown and debt ceiling standoff?

Correctives

Breaking: House Republicans to Change Course after Closed Meeting

A rump faction within the caucus continued to object that these were just numbers and made up like other science. The consultant explained that pollsters talk to real people, people who will vote in future elections. To demonstrate the principle, he called several random voters, all of whom responded with expletives and threats when asked what they thought of Congressional Republicans.

Correctives

Solve the Impasse—Fiction Writers for Better Misinformation Proposal #4992

Along with a continuing resolution to fund the government and elimination of the debt ceiling, pass a bill enabling people to opt into two new programs under Obamacare—we’ll call them the Public Option and the Prayer Option.

Correctives

Dylan Trent, Candidate for Mayor of Minerva, Ohio, Releases Pre-Apology Related to His Attempts to Emulate Anthony Weiner

Anthony Weiner is the political genius of our age. I say this as one with no small knowledge of political arts, having served a term on the Village Council of Minerva, as most of you know, and having run eight times for office. The essential thrust of politics is to get attention, and Weiner is […]

Correctives

Rebranding Literature: Faulkner and Hemingway

Rebranding Literature is a simple plan to make literature more relevant in the marketplace of ideas by maximizing revenue potential. Over the course of human history, great works of literature have generated less revenue in aggregate than a single day’s worth of Starbucks sales. This is true even in the United States, where monetary wealth […]

Correctives

Rebranding Literature: Lord’s Prayer

What is the “Lord’s Prayer?” Is it sacred text? No. It’s sacred performance. It’s sacred monologue, with, of course, the implication of dialogue very prominent. It is among the greatest examples of private utterance, while at the same time being a truly, literally, ecumenically shared utterance. As we did when we improved the Song of Solomon, we have stared deep into the souls of mercantilism and spiritualism in order to make this holy supplication ring true in modern times.

Correctives

Happy Would You Believe I Was Drunk Day!

On July 5, 1776, Arthur Middleton, a signer of the Declaration of Independence from South Carolina, walked down from the third floor room at the Inn where he had been staying throughout the latest session of the Continental Congress. He was met in the Inn’s kitchen by Samuel Beckwith, an out-of-work printer, who had just read a copy of the new founding document.

Correctives

Make Use of All the Data the Government Collects about You: Fiction Writers for Better Misinformation Proposal #4456

Many people see the government doing something they don’t like and their only thought is, stop! Just stop! They hear the National Security Agency is monitoring communications through major social networks and other sites, and they think, stop! Don’t let the government do that! They learn that the government is spending more than it takes […]

Correctives

Put Skin in the Game for Better Scandals: Fiction Writers for Better Misinformation Proposal #433

In our opinion, the whole apparatus of of scandal-seeking is beneficial when there is genuine miscreancy and harmful when it’s all a confection of palaver and false umbrage. The key is to separate true scandals from false.