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A Life Examined

The Sayings of Joanna M., a Kept Woman

If his daughter were attractive she’d probably be a slut.

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A Life Examined

The Sayings of Joanna M., a Kept Woman

His daughter gets so angry when I tell her she looks good for her age.

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A Life Examined

The Sayings of Joanna M., a Kept Woman

I have one dream above all others, one vision that makes my heart sing: my name on the deeds.

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A Life Examined

The Sayings of Joanna M., a Kept Woman

My standards are in transition.

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A Life Examined

The Sayings of Joanna M., a Kept Woman

It’s amazing that in an age when we do so much banking online and we pay for things with credit cards and we hardly touch cash at all that money is still the most powerful aphrodisiac.

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A Life Examined

The Sayings of Joanna M., a Kept Woman

It’s not his age, it’s the ear hair.

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Correctives

Dylan Trent, Candidate for Mayor of Minerva, Ohio, Releases Pre-Apology Related to His Attempts to Emulate Anthony Weiner

Anthony Weiner is the political genius of our age. I say this as one with no small knowledge of political arts, having served a term on the Village Council of Minerva, as most of you know, and having run eight times for office. The essential thrust of politics is to get attention, and Weiner is […]

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Frontiers of Knowledge

Organizers Hope Take Your Lazy-Ass Son to Work Day Sees More Participation

Fifteen-year-old Ely Dahlrang of Cunway, Oregon, says he was transformed by seeing his dad at work in 2012. “I always thought my dad hated my brothers and me, and all of that work stuff was just noise. But no, he really, really hates his job. I’m pretty sure that actually he probably doesn’t even hate us, it’s just that his life blows. So last fall when he asked me to rake leaves I didn’t ignore him or tell him to hire somebody.”

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Correctives

Rebranding Literature: Faulkner and Hemingway

Rebranding Literature is a simple plan to make literature more relevant in the marketplace of ideas by maximizing revenue potential.  Over the course of human history, great works of literature have generated less revenue in aggregate than a single day’s worth of Starbucks sales. This is true even in the United States, where monetary wealth […]

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Frontiers of Knowledge

New Paper Quantifies Value of Romance

A research team from Priapanal Wealth Management and Upland Downs University has created a financial model that predicts the ideal time for a wealthy older male to discard his initial wife and remarry with a younger female. “This is a complex theoretical question,” said Professor Henry Gausee. “Not only do you have questions of financial […]

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Correctives

Rebranding Literature: Lord’s Prayer

What is the “Lord’s Prayer?” Is it sacred text? No. It’s sacred performance. It’s sacred monologue, with, of course, the implication of dialogue very prominent. It is among the greatest examples of private utterance, while at the same time being a truly, literally, ecumenically shared utterance. As we did when we improved the Song of Solomon, we have stared deep into the souls of mercantilism and spiritualism in order to make this holy supplication ring true in modern times.

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A Life Examined

A Middle Manager Discusses Technology and the Modern Workplace

Telecommuting and video conferences are amazing technologies, for sure, but I say there’s no substitute for being in a room with people so you can smell who’s nervous.

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