Organizers Hope Take Your Lazy-Ass Son to Work Day Sees More Participation

Fifteen-year-old Ely Dahlrang of Cunway, Oregon, says he was transformed by seeing his dad at work in 2012. “I always thought my dad hated my brothers and me, and all of that work stuff was just noise. But no, he really, really hates his job. I’m pretty sure that actually he probably doesn’t even hate us, it’s just that his life blows. So last fall when he asked me to rake leaves I didn’t ignore him or tell him to hire somebody.”

Correctives

Rebranding Literature: Faulkner and Hemingway

Rebranding Literature is a simple plan to make literature more relevant in the marketplace of ideas by maximizing revenue potential. Over the course of human history, great works of literature have generated less revenue in aggregate than a single day’s worth of Starbucks sales. This is true even in the United States, where monetary wealth […]

Frontiers of Knowledge

New Paper Quantifies Value of Romance

A research team from Priapanal Wealth Management and Upland Downs University has created a financial model that predicts the ideal time for a wealthy older male to discard his initial wife and remarry with a younger female. “This is a complex theoretical question,” said Professor Henry Gausee. “Not only do you have questions of financial […]

Correctives

Rebranding Literature: Lord’s Prayer

What is the “Lord’s Prayer?” Is it sacred text? No. It’s sacred performance. It’s sacred monologue, with, of course, the implication of dialogue very prominent. It is among the greatest examples of private utterance, while at the same time being a truly, literally, ecumenically shared utterance. As we did when we improved the Song of Solomon, we have stared deep into the souls of mercantilism and spiritualism in order to make this holy supplication ring true in modern times.

A Life Examined

A Middle Manager Discusses Technology and the Modern Workplace

Telecommuting and video conferences are amazing technologies, for sure, but I say there’s no substitute for being in a room with people so you can smell who’s nervous.

A Life Examined

A Middle Manager Embodies the Lion on the Hunt

You’ve seen how, right before a staff meeting, everyone runs to the bathroom, right? It makes sense. Those things can go on forever and the only thing worse than an hour and a half of sheer tedium is an hour and a half of sheer tedium when your bladder feels like it’s going rupture. Well, […]

A Life Examined

A Middle Manager Explains How He Survives

Do you know that feeling when your boss reams you out? Like everything is just flushing out of your bowels and you are total scum? Some people call it humiliation or embarrassment. I call it the feeling of rightness. It’s your body telling you you’ve found your place—you shouldn’t aspire to anything higher. That’s survival […]

Correctives

Happy Would You Believe I Was Drunk Day!

On July 5, 1776, Arthur Middleton, a signer of the Declaration of Independence from South Carolina, walked down from the third floor room at the Inn where he had been staying throughout the latest session of the Continental Congress. He was met in the Inn’s kitchen by Samuel Beckwith, an out-of-work printer, who had just read a copy of the new founding document.

A Life Examined

A Memo from the HR Manager

Dear employees, You may have noticed that our work performance review process is incredibly confusing and complex with no discernible connection to either your past performance or your advancement and place within the company. This despite our repeated assurances that our driving goal is to improve employee performance and give you the tools you need […]

A Life Examined